the other side

It is the other side that I am afraid of.
The side that makes the street lights blur
Until my eyes are so wet and squinty
That the whole world is melting before me.
The side that drives me to run to my sanctuary
Slam the door and collapse to the ground
Whimpering, as my body falls a slave to my emotions.
The side that begs me to open up when for so long
I have kept myself so subtly isolated,
Comforted only by the mystery that accompanied my loneliness.

But this way seems to lead to an insatiable thirst
The comfort only drives me to cry out more
And immediately after the pinnacle, my moment of cathartic glory
I feel foolish and, once again, alone.

This is the side that makes me question myself
Who I am
What I am

The tunnel vision builds
And it feels like the world is collapsing around me
And I am to be forever lost in the rubble of existence
Forever trapped beneath destruction
Brought forth by none other
Than myself.